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Being cheated on is awful. That's the truth, and there's no way of making it any less horrible.
When your partner cheats on you you feel betrayed, disrespected and angry. In some cases, you even start to doubt your own value and blame yourself for your partner’s actions. This should never be the case at all, but it still happens.
No matter what decision you decide to make moving on, getting over being cheated on is a challenging and emotional process. It takes time, but with patience and self-care, you can heal and proceed without that incident holding you back.
This article offers some suggestions that might help you heal after you have been cheated on.
It's natural to feel a range of emotions, including anger, sadness, betrayal, and confusion.
Allow yourself to experience these emotions without judgment. Often times we are expected to ‘man up’ and pretend like we aren’t feeling anything. Unfortunately, this does not work, because in order for us to process our emotions effectively, we need to feel them.
“That's the thing about pain. It demands to be felt”- John Green
Being cheated on can leave you feeling embarrassed, especially when you were the last person to know about it. When feeling this way, it is not uncommon for one to think that they need to be alone and deal with being cheated on alone without the influence of others.
But, talk to friends or family who can offer emotional support. Surrounding yourself with a supportive network can be crucial during this time. It's essential to make sure that you surround yourself with empathetic people who don't make you feel like you're the reason why your partner cheated.
Give yourself the time and space to heal.
Focus on self-care activities that bring you comfort and relaxation. This could include exercise, meditation, reading, or any other activities that help you feel grounded.
This can be a bit difficult, especially when you’re used to having your partner by your side most of the time. Spending time alone will help you fall in love with yourself and realize that you are capable of making yourself happy and content.
No matter what you decide to do after being cheated on, it is essential that you set firm boundaries.
If the relationship is ongoing, establish clear boundaries with your partner. This might involve taking a break or redefining the terms of your relationship. It might also be centered around what your expectations are regarding communication and interactions with other people.
Should you decide to end the relationship, you might need to have firm boundaries with yourself. These could involve not going through your ex’s social media platforms just to see what they are up to; or not picking up the phone when they call.
Depending on the extent to which the incident is affecting you, this might be worth considering.
There are so many people who have difficulties building and maintaining relationships because at some point in the past, they were cheated on. Consequently, they don’t trust most people they date and they think they will be cheated on.
Getting professional help might help you deal with the experience as an isolated event and not as a predictor of what you should expect in your future relationships.
If the emotional pain is overwhelming, seeking the help of a therapist or counsellor can provide a safe space to explore your feelings and gain insights into the situation.
When cheating happens, the relationship changes and it's never the same.
Take some time to reflect on the relationship and the factors that led to the infidelity. This self-reflection can help you gain clarity and make informed decisions about the future of the relationship. It will help you understand what the two of you need to do in order to avoid cheating happening again.
Forgiveness is a personal choice and doesn't necessarily mean condoning the actions.
It's about letting go of the resentment for your own well-being. However, it's also important to remember and learn from the experience to make informed decisions in the future based on that past experience.
Entirely forgetting that your partner has cheated on you in the past might put you at risk of being cheated on again.
Use this challenging experience as an opportunity for personal growth and development.
Rediscover your interests, set new goals, and invest time in activities that bring you joy and fulfilment. Not only will this distract you, it will also boost your self-esteem and allow you to unleash the best version of yourself.
While it's natural to want to assign blame, dwelling on it can hinder your healing process.
Focus on your own well-being and growth, rather than getting caught up in a cycle of blame.
If you decide to enter into a new relationship, take your time and ensure you're emotionally ready. Building trust in a new relationship can take time, and it's important to communicate openly with your partner about your past experiences.
Remember, healing is a gradual process, and everyone's journey is unique.
Be patient with yourself and give yourself the time and space needed to recover. Avoid giving yourself timelines as this might put you under pressure to move on before you are ready.
There are a lot of factors that influence how we feel when our partner cheats. Surround yourself with people who understand and respect your experiences not invalidate them because ‘they have experienced worse’.
Communicate with your partner and ask all the questions you might have then start your healing process.
Just because you have forgiven someone doesn’t mean you have to get back and continue the relationship with them. Similarly, just because someone has cheated doesn’t mean you have to end your relationship with them.
Each relationship is different and there is no one way of moving on when there has been infidelity. Do not give in to the pressure around you and do what you think is best for you.
Healing after being cheated on definitely takes time but eventually, it happens.
Photo by Odonata Wellnesscenter
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Yes I am really worried what happened today I am crazy when I try somting to talk. No break I just speek like parrots. I don't understand what I am saying. I will stop everything talk after this.i will control my self. Let me see.how could I manage it. I thanks god. about your kind service.