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Before writing this article I decided to comb through the internet in search of what people felt guilty about enjoying – i.e. what was other people's “guilty pleasure”?
What I discovered was amazing: To my astonishment, a lot of the things people considered embarrassing, or a guilty pleasure were things I indulged in without flinching or feeling any remorse. Conversely, some of the things I felt deeply guilty about were things other people indulged in without any qualms.
It was then it struck me: feeling guilty about something you find pleasurable is subjective. The negative feelings you have attached to the things that bring you pleasure are all in your head. And yes, they are not wrong, and the feeling of guilt you feel may not have been put there by you.
For example, researchers have noted that there are broadly three categories of guilt, and a number of factors/sources contribute to these.
See below:
Guilt arises from social constructs and is not a violation of the "Universal" or "Constitutional" laws. For instance
As you can see, these things are not really offenses against the law, nor are they particularly wrong from any objective standpoint.
But why do they hunt us? The answer is quite simple: we are tormented by these feelings because they have been ingrained into us by several sources. See below:
Guilt arise from several sources:
Although guilt has its uses, it is oftentimes unrealistic, and can even become unhealthy when it gets mixed with our pleasures – as it reduces the enjoyment of life in general.
Guilty pleasures essentially make us embarrassed about things that make us happy.
The truth is that most activities that are considered guilty pleasures are not useful activities, and can become harmful when overindulged. For example, devouring Big Macs, glugging beer, sprawling on the bed for hours sleeping, binge-watching Netflix, etc. are some examples of guilty pleasures, and don’t have a lot of significant benefits, but can have serious downsides if done in excess.
But that’s the point. These guilty pleasures are only there to serve as a nice treat – a sort of reward and escape from the daily pandemonium of life (work, family, and all other stressors).
However, due to the potential repercussions that arise from excesses, a lot of people (and maybe even you) have associated those activities with negativity and shame which brings us a sense of unworthiness, or inadequacy whenever we indulge.
All these lead to a situation where you start hiding or refuse to admit that you particularly enjoy doing them every once in a while.
The fact is, if someone is indulging in any activity to the point of harming themselves or others, they have other serious unresolved issues – i.e. other factors are to blame, and not the activity in particular.
Pleasure is important. There is no point in working hard, meditating, or working out if you are not going to enjoy any of the benefits they bring.
To remove the feeling of guilt from pleasure, we must ensure, then affirm to ourselves that what we are doing is not harming anyone – including ourselves – and that our actions are done solely as a reward for what we have accomplished – and not as a distraction.
That said, it becomes crucial to remember that:
In conclusion, stop hiding what you are doing. Feel free to show people your authentic self, and when they ask, make sure to remind them that it is all in moderation.
Remember, watching Netflix is fun, social media can be very entertaining, and a good nap is absolutely refreshing;
Trying to let go of a guilty pleasure that is beneficial for your sanity can be very difficult and unnecessary because you are inevitably trying to deny yourself the relaxation, happiness, and comfort that comes with those.
So, own it: Enjoy your guilty pleasures without guilt. Take the guilt out of pleasure! 😉
Photo by Roberto Nickson on Unsplash
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I like your articles .They motivate me a lot when I am down it seems something in there revives me
There are only two kinds of guilt Natural and cultural. Natural guilt comes from my Inner Being. It's the feeling I get when I contemplate or do something that's out of alignment with Her. That's genuine useful guilt. However, it's only meant to be a brief warning that it's time for a correction in my thinking. Next I make the needed correction and do something more aligned with Her perception. Then I'm supposed to let it go. Sometimes I have trouble letting go of my old jnaligned actions. I'm working on this. I keep giving them to Her for processing. She usually just takes my old useless after-shock guilt away. Then it's my job to not recreate it. But if I do I just give it to Her again.
Now on cultural guilt I know it's false guilt. I give it to Her to take away and then try to align with Her guilt -free take on the action.