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Dating can be a rich, exciting experience for many people.
Trying to find that special someone through the dating process can take time, effort, and plenty of insight. After all, you want to be sure you’re looking for red flags as you get out there and date.
As with any area of life, it’s easy to pick up some bad dating habits. Dating is no exception. There are plenty of tips and tricks for dating out there. Hopefully, you’ve put some time in to learning how to date, what to look for, and what to shy away from.
Do you think you’ve picked up some bad dating tips?
Here are some attitudes or behaviors that many people would call “bad dating habits”. Have a look to see if you fall into any of these categories. If so, it’s a great time to do some reprogramming and drop them for good!
While it’s true that many people like to be pursued, they probably want that pursuit to be consistent and steady, rather than fast and furious. If you act like an eager beaver going a mile a minute in pursuit of that “interest”, it might just send them running.
For example, let’s say you think this particular person is the ONE for you. You shift right into high gear and rev up your engine to the max. You’re off and in a hurry!
The thing with this type of speed is that many people can sniff out this “eager beaver” or desperate behavior and it tends to freak them out. They may feel that clinginess, ultra-neediness, etc. and pull away.
While you may like this person, check yourself on your pace pursuing them. If you’ve had a history of coming on too strong, take a step back and evaluate the situation.
Slow down. Allow the dating process to progress incrementally at a pace both of you are comfortable with. Sure, you can show interest and get the momentum going. Just do it consciously at a steady pace.
This is a dating habit for you if you’ve been single for a while and have been so preoccupied with dating that you’ve lost some of yourself in the dating process.
You scour the internet every day for potential mates, you chat, email, and video message. You may go on multiple dates per week or month.
While all this is fine and dandy, you may be letting your individual life fly by without realizing it. Have you:
Yes, get out there and date, but don’t lose sight of yourself along your journey.
Nothing changes if nothing changes.
I’ve always loved this saying, because it’s just so true.
If you’ve been following the same dating habits month after month or year after year and getting the same undesired results, perhaps it’s time to do something different.
If you desire to find that special someone this year, you may have to change things up some in order to break up that stale, same ole’ energy.
Just going to work every day might not be enough to find you that special person. Visiting the same restaurant each week where you know everyone by name might not land you that date either.
If you’ve:
Do whatever you can to meet new faces.
There are plenty of ways to meet new people. Make a list today of how you’re going to make some changes in your life to see some new potentials.
Ignoring red flags is a bad dating habit.
Many people can look back at old relationships and see just how many red flags they failed to identify.
Or, if they did see them, they were secretly thinking, “Oh, I can change them.”
But ignoring red flags can cause a lot of problems and pain down the road.
What are some red flags to be on the lookout for?
These are just some red flags to be on the lookout for. Don’t let the logical, rational part of your brain go offline during the dating phase. Be on the lookout and if you see a red flag, address it and/or keep it moving onto someone else.
You don’t have to settle for someone who is not a good match for you.
Even if you’re tired of being single, be sure that the majority of your values and goals line up. Some people get really tired at navigating life single, so they attach to the first person that comes their way bearing attention (or gifts). They ignore red flags or just settle for someone who they view as “alright”.
Slow it down and really take some time to get to know each other. Hold out for that person who you can truly love and feel secure with. The one that will cherish you, desire to commit for the long haul, and treat you with respect. You deserve to have a partner that’ll have your back and vice versa.
You’ll thank yourself later on down the road.
Did you recognize yourself in any of these habits?
If so, do your best to knock them out of your life. Detox from habits that don’t serve you or keep you feeling heavy. Dating is a wonderful opportunity to learn valuable lessons about you, others, and life in general.
Stay optimistic and do your best to enjoy the process.
Editor's note: This article was originally published Jan 21, 2021 and has been updated to improve reader experience.
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very valuable imformatiom. I think this should be apart of general school human interaction education to all young people. building a stronger and healthìer community and globe interaction of real respect for each other.
Trusting Life
I am a person of character and grace. I treat people how they treat me most times and got the sense of enough to know AH' when I have one. Now has been tested and ruined. I no longer feel I see things the same. I know what was done to me some years ago by a friend that I had known for years change my mindset for life. I even tried seeing I can get past it and failed, and I haven't tried it since. Now I feel I got to protect myself from everything that comes my way. I have seen over the years things that were placed before me as to be bait for a date; I call it. And to keep throwing someone from the past in my life to upset me is the most disrespect I've gotten from my daughter and others. Wow, I see why I feel the way I feel. I talk to people I've had in my life all the time, but I know an AH' and person of no character and who lied on for their on purpose. I forgive them all and don't double back for more. To don't feel you have your privacy and peace is the heartless part of my life now. It's not just soloing, it's keeping me safe from harm of any consequences of what can happen.
I'm in a hurt and heart broken situation right now but reading you bad dating thing I think I make a mistake but use someone to heal my broken heart and him leave me broken than before now that make me don't want to date anyone else
So many people have been in a similar situation Bridgette. You can't change your past, but you can look back at what you think happened, and at what you would do differently now in the same situation. Having space in between relationships can give us clarity on what happened, and what we need to do to properly heal. If you are feeling tangled up and unsure, and things like journaling don't help to sort out your emotions, reach out to someone who can help. It sounds like you could use some time to love yourself and heal from your past before you try another relationship.
I've been scammed and ghosted by men. While you are intertacting with them it feels great. Like you are loved and special. Then, bam, nothing. It really gives you doubts about men. But then you risk your heart again because unfortunately if you want to find someone you have to risk it.
You're so right Jeanne, it's hard to give new relationships a chance, because you have to be vulnerable to let people in. But if you've been scammed in the past, as you say, it's hard to move past those feelings of betrayal or mistrust - of course you don't want it to happen again! A healthy dose of caution serves well - you don't have to be a brick wall, but you also don't have to give up all of your heart and soul to someone right away, as good as it may feel to connect with someone. Protect yourself and be patient! The people worth your time will understand, because it's a rational thing to do. The ones who are out to scam you will likely move on if they aren't getting what they want right away.