How My Emotional Breakdown Was the Wake-Up Call I Needed & Could Be Yours Too

Years ago, I was in a toxic relationship and had been repressing my emotions for a long time.

I finally reached a breaking point where I felt like I could no longer keep everything bottled up. I woke up one day feeling like a complete emotional mess. Heavy emotions were arising and I wasn’t sure what to do. I thought of a close friend and called her, asking her to meet me for coffee.

When I met my friend for, my whole body was shaking.

My eyes were puffy, and I was slouching over, struggling to hold back tears. In a moment of vulnerability, I confessed to her, "I can't do it anymore. I'm seriously having a breakdown!"

I was hoping for some reassurance that everything would be okay and that I wasn't truly falling apart, but instead, my friend surprised me with her response. "Good," she said. "It's about time. Embrace it fully."

Finding Support

Her words left me stunned, and I was lost for words.

However, I could tell that she understood the importance of embracing my emotions fully and allowing myself to let go of everything that had been holding me back.

After her initial response, my friend went on to elaborate further on what she meant. She assured me that she would be there for me as I allowed myself to fully let go of my emotions, telling me that she saw me and loved me even during my darkest and ugliest moments in life.

It was a revelation to me because, for a long time, I had been putting on a mask of a fake smile and an impenetrable wall around my heart, pretending everything was okay when it was not. But my friend had seen right through my façade and understood the turmoil going on inside me.

Her willingness to stand by me during my emotional breakdown and her unwavering support meant more to me than words could express. It was a turning point in my life, and I will always be grateful to her for helping me to confront my emotions and start on the path towards healing.

Fully Embracing Brokenness

This was the beginning of a raw and real journey to go from emotional brokenness to a state of emotional wholeness.

As I fully embraced my brokenness (meaning I took off my mask and threw it to the ground), I could then really start looking at what was going on below the surface. 

•  I could stop stuffing and pretending that I had it all together.
•  I could admit that sometimes I needed (and wanted) help.
•  I could then begin reaching out for the kind of help that resonated with me.

Climbing Out of the Pit of Depression

Everyone falls into the pit of sadness, brokenness, or depression at times.

However, it’s what you do while you’re in it that makes a big difference in your future. Not only that, but it’s also important who you surround yourself with.

For me, I had to stop acting like I could do everything myself. I had to stop holding everything in, wearing a smile like everything was peachy, when in fact, it wasn’t.

• Life wasn’t great.
• A lifetime of repressed emotions were causing me immense inner pain.
• Positive affirmations weren’t helping me.
• I couldn’t pull myself out of the darkness I’d fallen in.

How I Became a Stronger, More Emotionally Whole Woman

I’ll be honest in saying that my emotional breakdown was the springboard for my emotional healing.

I had to admit that I’d never dealt with my past baggage and needed help in processing some negative emotions.

Looking back on my childhood, I can recall several instances where I chose to repress my emotions when I felt afraid or angry.

I remember a specific incident when I was around 10 years old, and I was bullied by some kids in my class. They teased me relentlessly, calling me hurtful names, and I was too scared to speak up or defend myself.

Instead, I bottled up my feelings of anger and frustration, putting on a brave face and pretending like it didn't bother me.

As I grew older, I continued to adopt this coping mechanism of repressing my emotions when faced with difficult situations. I convinced myself that it was better to keep my feelings to myself rather than make a scene or burden others with my problems.

However, this approach only served to make my emotional struggles worse, and I found myself unable to process negative emotions in a healthy way.

The following things helped me in my journey (and still do) toward regaining self-worth and confidence along my journey. My prayer is that if you’re struggling, these will help you too.

Support Groups 

I found support groups for those struggling emotionally and relationally.

They really helped me begin to focus on myself and my emotional recovery, as opposed to caretaking everyone else.

Here are several to consider:

National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) - support groups for individuals living with mental illness and their families.

Domestic Violence Support Groups - support groups for individuals who have experienced or are experiencing domestic violence.

GriefShare - support groups for those who have experienced the loss of a loved one.

Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA) - support groups for individuals living with anxiety and depression.

Codependents Anonymous (CODA) - support groups for individuals who struggle with codependency and unhealthy relationships.

Prayer/Meditation

Learning how to sit quietly with myself and my Creator helped a lot.

Going within always helps me remember the more important things in life, such as love, peace, and compassion.

It's amazing how just taking some time to sit quietly or meditate can have a huge impact on our emotional well-being. When we slow down our pace and turn our attention inward, it becomes so much easier to process feelings and emotions, and to see things more clearly.

I personally find prayer and meditation to be incredibly powerful ways to deal with emotions and find some inner peace.

Prayer allows you to connect with a higher power and gives you access to guidance and support when you need it the most. And meditation helps you cultivate a sense of calm and clarity, enabling you to observe your thoughts and feelings without judgment.

Taking the time to practice these things regularly can really help you break free from any negative thoughts or emotions that have been holding you back.

By doing so, you can find greater peace and contentment in your life and feel empowered to take on any challenges that come your way.

Counseling

I committed to seeing a professional therapist for at least six months. I wanted and needed someone to journey me deeper in my psyche to see what shadows were lurking.

If you're struggling with your emotions and need some extra support, don't hesitate to reach out for help. Seeking professional therapy can be an incredibly impactful way to deal with difficult emotions and move towards healing and wholeness.

Supportive Community 

I made myself get out to gatherings and found my community. 

No longer did I have to feel like I didn’t really belong anywhere. Finding a supportive community can also be a powerful way to improve your emotional wellbeing and feel more connected to others.

My Emotional Breakdown Was the Start of My Healing Process

Emotional healing can be a challenging but necessary journey.

It takes time, effort, and vulnerability, but the rewards are enormous. Whether it's through practices like meditation and prayer, seeking therapy, or finding a supportive community, healing is possible.

As someone who's been there, I can attest to the positive changes that come from committing to your emotional wellbeing. These practices have become a part of my life and have helped me to stay more balanced, connected, and content. I believe that we can all benefit from such sacred connections.

So, how are you doing, really?

Take the time to reflect on your emotional wellbeing and make a commitment to yourself to prioritize your healing journey.

You're worth it.

Photo by Polina Zimmerman