Having intrusive thoughts is like opening a can of worms.
Every overthinker out there knows exactly what this means - once you acknowledge one, more come slithering into our brains. Obviously, we're better off without these thoughts, as they can eat away at our peace of mind.
Let us paint you a picture.
You're at dinner with friends and all of a sudden, a random question pops up in your mind. Out of the blue, you hear a voice saying your friends are only putting up with you because you tagged along.
"No one wants you there. And if you weren't there, hardly anyone would miss you."
Sound familiar? How about this one...
You're having a wonderful time with your partner - but the voice in your mind says otherwise.
"They deserve someone better than you."
Or maybe, you're on a new date, meeting a person for the first time, and the voice recalls some old, toxic memory...
"You shouldn't trust new people. Remember what happened last time?"
Why do we have these thoughts anyway? Where do they come from, and how can you stop having them?
What is an Intrusive Thought?
These thoughts happen normally and mostly because they receive the green signals from our brain. For instance, whenever we walk by our friend’s house, we wonder what our friend is up to, and so on.
We hardly pay attention to these thoughts and they disappear just as quickly as they came into our minds.
Anyone who has ever tried meditation or any other form of relaxation technique can easily notice the thoughts entering our consciousness. Yet, instead of engaging, we sit back and observe the thoughts, till they are replaced by another one.
Intrusive thoughts, on the other hand, are like your cousins from the countryside, who move in unannounced. They show no sign of leaving, no matter how much you want them out of your mind, and are always demanding attention.
At some point, these thoughts can become obsessive and this recurrent intrusion into your mind can totally overwhelm you.
Now, you might be asking why these thoughts are so unwanted. If the thoughts were about rainbows and unicorns, or things you love, that would be splendid. Sadly, these thoughts can be dark, negative, hurtful and even tied to past trauma.
4 Ways to Start Dealing With Intrusive Thoughts
Before you let intrusive thoughts rob you of your happiness, take a step back.
Take a few deep breaths to center yourself before you assume how everyone else feels around you or how a date may play out. Don’t give in to this toxic nature and you'll be able to keep your sanity.
1. Self-Awareness
Being aware of these intrusive thoughts and recognizing them is the first step to stopping them. A great way to start is by meditation. Although many people find it difficult to meditate, this act of relaxation and understanding your body helps you become more mindful.
Once you become more self-aware, and can give your mind the space to identify these thoughts, you can more easily label them as positive or negative. Mindfulness brings clarity to your mind and doesn’t let you act out based on the voice from within.
You can learn to differentiate the thoughts and afterwards, discard the views which seem toxic and stupid, and focus on the brighter aspects.
2. Acceptance
Once you start recognizing the intrusive thoughts, your job is to accept the fact that these thoughts are normal and can happen to anyone.
People often try suppressing these feelings, but like a raging volcano, it gets worse. Instead of bottling them up, why not embrace them?
If they keep on coming, let them.
- Identify the negative views and then tell yourself, that is not the kind of person you are.
- Reassure yourself that these are just thoughts, nothing more.
Acceptance gives you the power to dictate your feelings over this unusual wave of energy.
You are now in command of your actions, and you choose to let these thoughts be, not suppressing them, nor giving them power by engaging with them.
With time, you will gain full control and they will eventually reduce.
3. Replacement
This is another technique to prevent pesky intrusive thoughts from ruining your peace.
We talked about being aware and accepting them, now let’s try replacing them.
Whenever you have a negative notion, try to trick your mind into pondering something else.
If:
- your partner receives a text, and you worry about being cheated on, engage in a different activity or thought, till it completely gets out of your head.*
- you're out with friends and start doubting whether your presence is enjoyed or not - just live in the moment.
- someone doesn’t tell you that you are unwelcome, don’t assume the worst for yourself. Give yourself the benefit of the doubt.
* Unless you have genuine reason to think you ARE being cheated on, in which case, you need to talk to your partner, not just live with these concerns in your head.
Every time an unwanted opinion pops up, replace it with another interesting view. If possible, something happy. As long as it isn’t inappropriate, it doesn’t matter what you are replacing it with.
4. Identify
According to Harvard Health, it is also important to be able to identify the types of intrusive thoughts you are having.
If you are having the same type of thoughts popping in over and over again, you may have some underlying and unaddressed trauma to seek help for, or you may be suffering from anxiety, stress or unresolved personal trauma.
If this resonates with you, talk to your doctor, counselor or therapist, or reach out to a professional who can help.
You Don't Need to Live With Intrusive Thoughts
Intrusive thoughts are ugly and they can affect your mental health. So, take the necessary precautions before these negativities take away your soundness of mind.
Updated from Jun 12, 2023
Photo by cottonbro studio
Thoughts. of the mind
My thoughts aren't always not true. I have known of my given gifts of decernments, so this doesn't necessarily make my thoughts untrue. I deal with what I pick up on accordingly or I want have no one to talk too. If this make sense to you.
Thanks that article was very helpful thanks
Our thoughts are the only thing in life that we're in charge of. For high functioning people it's a great responsibly to choose our thoughts carefully. Your article points out beautifully how random our mind can be. Psychologists say that we have anywhere between 60,000 and 80,000 thoughts a day and most of them are negative.
In learning about ourselves and becoming self aware, you're quite right that meditation is an excellent tool. Affirmations are as well. Affirmations are statements that our mind might not believe but are true for all of us. I am courageous for example is a brilliant example of an affirmation that fits everyone. I use affirmations every day and teach others about their power.
That's great feedback Kathie! It's a daily challenge to be self aware, and we just need to keep practicing and be kind to ourselves. We hope you visit our Daily Affirmation page to get some insight too!
The article made sense and was very helpful.
Katie your feedback is excellent. Thank you for that.
I found this article very helpful, they are all good a d informative, thanx
Great to hear, thank you for your support Pammy!
Great article!
Thank you!
Always you show me the real parth.its great and helpful for me.Thank you
Happy to hear it Sharifdeen - take care of yourself 🙂