Survivor Guilt: How Do You Know if You're Experiencing it & 6 Ways to Help

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Surviving a life-threatening situation is emotionally turbulent for various reasons.

You might wish you had done more at the time of the event. You might feel guilty for others getting hurt at the expense of yourself. And you might feel guilty, as though you’ve done something wrong, for surviving while others didn’t.

If that last sentence hit home, you might have something called “survival guilt.” This term was first coined to describe those who survived the Holocaust. However, the same concept can also be applied to those who have been in life-threatening car crashes, wars, natural disasters, and more.

In this article, we take a closer look at what survivor guilt truly means, the signs, the causes, and how you can begin to overcome it.

What is Survivor Guilt Syndrome?

Survivor guilt happens when a person survives something others didn’t. Afterward, they may feel immense guilt over surviving while others didn’t.

You might question why you’re still here, but the others aren’t. You might also think about whether you could’ve prevented their deaths. And you might also question the actions you did take.

Many mental health experts categorize survivor guilt as a symptom of PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder). It’s further been described as “the lingering shadow of those we couldn’t save.”

What Are Symptoms of Survivor Guilt?

The extent of one’s symptoms depends on the unique individual and the situation they survived. Some signs and symptoms of survivor guilt include:

Irritability
Feelings of hopelessness
Lacking motivation
Flashbacks
Mood swings
Obsessive thoughts about the event
Appetite changes
Weight loss
Headaches
Trouble sleeping
Difficulty concentrating
Fear
Confusion
Suicidal thoughts

In fact, survivor guilt can significantly impact a person’s day-to-day life, which is why it’s often so important to seek out the help and support you need and deserve.

What is an Example of Survivor Guilt?

Examples of survivor guilt include people who have survived:

War
9/11
Holocaust
Car crashes
Natural disasters
Life-changing events

Additionally, first responders can also experience this, as can anyone who experiences or witnesses a traumatic event.

A 2018 study even indicated that 90% of individuals seeking treatment at a traumatic stress clinic experienced feelings of guilt.

Is Survivor Guilt a Form of Trauma?

Technically, yes. Anger, guilt, and shame are common emotions to experience after a traumatic event or situation. If you feel any of these lingering emotions, we encourage you to seek out professional help.

How Do I Let Go of Survivor Guilt?

Navigating through survivor guilt isn’t easy by any means. However, it is possible.

Here are a few tips as you move through this undeniably tough time.

1. Practice Self-Forgiveness.

This can be the hardest part of all; we are always our worst critics.

However, offering yourself compassion and forgiveness, even if your actions harmed another, is important to focus on as you heal. This will help you move past what is holding you back and help you move forward in a more positive way.

2. Feel Your Feelings.

Grieve what has happened.

Accept that it’s okay to feel sad or angry. While these emotions sometimes may not feel rational, this is completely normal. If we don’t feel these feelings now, they may come out in other, less healthy ways later on.

It may further help to talk to a trusted family member or friend. If this isn’t possible, a therapist is the perfect person to offer a compassionate hand and support.

3. Turn Your Attention to Other Factors That Caused the Event or Situation.

While we can blame ourselves all day, it’s important to recognize other contributing factors.

Usually, we aren’t the sole cause, even if it’s hard to see it right now. However, turning your attention to these external factors can help you let go of self-blame and being to move forward toward healing.

4. Put Positivity Out in the World.

This can mean different things to different people.

For some, they might find great fulfillment from volunteering within their communities. For others, it might be about helping a friend move or doing something nice for someone you care about. Even donating blood is a significant act of kindness that fosters positivity.

5. Remind Yourself That It’s Normal to Feel This Way.

Just because we feel guilty, it doesn’t mean we’ve done something wrong.

Guilt, anxiety, fear, sadness, anger, and more are all completely normal emotions to feel after a traumatic event. And yes, you can feel relieved about surviving and guilty about others not. These can coexist.

6. Seek Out Professional Help.

If you continue to experience flashbacks, fear, and more that hinder your daily life and mental health, seeking the guidance of a professional can help you through this difficult time. This is especially important if you’ve had any thoughts of suicide, even suicide ideation.

Your therapist or counselor can help diagnose what you’re experiencing and provide coping methods and techniques to help you through it.